Archive | May, 2012

Ten Years of Catfish Glory

23 May

Note the deeper, more mellow gold, the warm purple, the hint of mossy green.  It’s the Catfish Festival-Unplugged.  Not that it was plugged in before, because we use propane for frying purposes, but you get the general idea.

Greetings, Fellow Catfish Enthusiasts,

In the group sessions, Doc Schwartz says that it’s important that we speak concisely and get right to the point, so I reckon that’s what we’ll do.

The fair sun again ensconces us in her summer warmth.  And as the wee cherubs exit their stoic schoolhouses and the soccer moms return to their neighborhood pools, we while away the hours wandering through peaceful thoughts of fried catfish and spicy hush puppies. 

The countless therapy sessions have ended on a fragile yet successful note.  It turns out that spending six to six and one-half hours per day making little pipe cleaner craft animals (focus: catfish) for sale at Muddy Point Sanitarium’s Bi-weekly Saturday Craft Market truly is a positive and focused way to exorcise the persistent and debilitating demons of January 9th, 2012. 

Uncontrollable trembling has given way to lively motor function.  Vicious elephant and hot wing nightmares have conceded to happy Tiger and Catfish dreams.  Drooling has given way to less drooling.

Therefore, we are proud to announce that, having discarded our terry cloth robes and puffy slippers, our comfy padded wheelchairs, and those darling little plastic cups overrunneth with all of the pills of the rainbow, we are back on our collective feet, ready again to approach the world with the a measure of the dignity and motivation necessary to bring you the Tenth Annual Denver Catfish Festival!

With this being the TENTH ANNIVERSARY of that fateful night in 2002, we’re planning…we’re planning…well, we’re not planning much.  

In homage to that first magical hot August night, that gathering of like-minded aquatic aficionados (and several severely inebriated people that came over after a golf tournament,) that first technology-deprived “Fish Fry,” we’re going back to the basics.  Gone are the massive corporate sponsorships.  Gone are the executive perks, the limos, the “planning meetings” in Ibiza.  Gone are the back-office political deals and massive Denver Catfish Festival lobbyist presence in Washington.  Gone are the lavish production values which have made The Denver Catfish Festival the envy of countless catfish festivals across the metro area.

This year, it’s all about the hearty catfish and his delicious second cousin, the Hush Puppy.  It’s about a massive propane-fired fryer.  It’s about a quaint and occasionally off-color Catfish-inspired Haiku Contest.  It’s about standing around discussing Catfish, admiring Catfish, eating Catfish, burping Catfish.  In short, This One’s For The Fans.  

Doc Schwartz says we can even have beer, as long as we attend the College Football Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Therapy and Healing Symposium at Muddy Point before the end of next month.  We have agreed to attend, but only if we can get just one more leetle beety refill on our Lithium prescription.

So it is with the greatest pleasure that we offer our most gracious invitation to… 

The Tenth Annual Denver Catfish Festival

Denver Catfish Festival Grounds

July 21st, 2012

The first filet-hits-oil at 1:12 PM Mountain Standard Time.


Joe T., Chmn.

“Ask Me About The Tenth Annual Denver Catfish Festival!”

%d bloggers like this: