THE DENVER CATFISH FESTIVAL

Catfish, he’s carryin’ the weight of the world…

Greetings, Fellow Catfish Enthusiasts!

I’m writing to you from what must be the far corners of the mind, that small but lively locale where insanity, poor judgement, and love of freshwater bottom-dwellers, fried cornmeal, and inexpensive, chemical-laden American canned beer intersect and flourish.

The Denver Catfish Festival Administrative and Labor crews attended a team-building retreat last weekend to the mountains of Colorado.  I was sitting in camp, allowing the bucolic splendor of the majestic Rocky Mountains to wash over my aura (having just finished a rather delicious hot link,) when one of our group spotted a large bird, only thirty feet above our site, flying erratically.  We looked more closely and saw that this was no ordinary bird; it was a bald eagle.  And not only was it a bald eagle, but a bald eagle with a live trout in its talons!  Its majesty knew no equal as it settled on the far end of a lush meadow and devoured its prey.

After chanting “USA! USA! USA!” until our many camp dogs began to bark with agitation, a notion shot through my mind with the immediacy of a Wells Catfish attacking a Spanish pigeon:

Yes, Fortuna, oh yes.  I have borne witness to your sign from above.  There will, nay, there must be a 2015 Denver Catfish Festival.

Therefore on Saturday, August 1st, we’re having a Catfish Festival.  The Denver Catfish Festival, to be more precise.  The first filet hits oil at 1:12 PM.  There will be no live music, nor any parades; there will be a Catfish-inspired Haiku competition and Catfish Festival After Dark.  And while this may be a more intimate gathering that in years past, we are over-the-moon excited to bring back what one ebullient festival attendee called “The Greatest Single Day of My Life.”

Who was that loquacious festival attendee, you ask?

It was my dog, the mighty Beagle, Little Dalton Hilliard.  And he may not have actually spoken those words, but his eyes said more than any mere speaker of words ever could.

So, there you have it.  We’ll provide the Catfish and The Hush Puppies, you provide witty repartee and a lawn chair, and let’s fry everything in sight.

Sincerely,

Joe T., Chmn.

“Ask Me About Ideas for Getting Out of Prior Obligations in Order To Attend The 2015 Denver Catfish Festival!”