You know, Jimi Hendrix played an electric catfish; however, he was left-handed and preferred to play a right-handed model turned upside down. Something about the blood running to the lucky catfish's head, thereby creating a fuller sound.
Greetings, Fellow Catfish Enthusiasts,
We at the Denver Catfish Festival are taking a moment to look beyond the metaphorical surface of black and muddy waters of Catfish Evolution (if one believes in such a thing, but honestly, do you really believe that catfish are only 6000 years old? ) and learn more about this mysterious giver of delicious and healthy delights, our friend and yours, the center of our universe,
The Catfish.
Sometimes, in order to find the essence of something, one must find the thing’s origins. It is with that thought in mind that Festival Elder Billy, Hanger-on Chip and Your Chairman depart on an adventurous expedition and search for the source of the Mississippi River this coming Monday.
We will load the expeditionary Denver Catfish Festival Vanagon with supplies, travel across the northern plains treading the sacred Oregon Trail (stopping over, of course, in the land the natives call “Omaha,” site of six LSU College World Series championships), make our way through the tribal lands of the Sioux, to the great northern land of the Chippewa, the land of approximately ten thousand lakes. We will flop in mud and find The Catfish Within. We will take a mystical Vision Quest so as to become one with the catfish and experience what the catfish experiences as it begins its journey of life down the Great River.
Oh, and there’s this super wicked music festival there next week and Wilco and Widespread Panic are playing. We’ll probably stop by there for a little while as well, you know, just to get a feel for the people and their culture, maybe knock back a few Gluek Golden Lights and warm up a tater tot hot dish, don’tcha know.
The road will be fraught with danger. Those bastards from the Denver Trout Festival will have spies in our midst. We shall trust no one.
Then, when we’ve satisfied our quest for knowledge of up-river Catfish as well as Minnesotan culture, we shall return next weekend and begin the final preparations for the SEVENTH ANNUAL DENVER CATFISH FESTIVAL!
Why have you not submitted your Catfish-Inspired Haiku? Do you taken a Fabulous Prizes Abstinence Vow of some sort? We have AMAZING prizes this year! Get yo’self a pen and paper and channel(cat) your (fish)muse! C’mon!
Festival Week promises to be extremely exciting this year. Events too numerous to discuss are in the works!
Sincerely,
Joe T., Chmn.
“Follow Me to The Seventh Annual Denver Catfish Festival!”
THE DENVER CATFISH FESTIVAL 
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